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A.
13 May 2009 @ 09:37 pm
30 March 2009 @ 10:08 pm
By nightfall Saturday I all of my belongings will boxed up and in the trunk of a car or stuffed in my basement. My closet is empty except for the skeleton hangers. When I look at it, it looks like the inside of my head, full of skeleton thoughts. My room is dark right now, no light except candle-light and the glow of my computer screen. The blue, hollow light of the moon has been swallowed up by dove-grey clouds. The scent of vanilla and sugar pumpkin are thick in the air, and it is calming and comforting. Images of leaving are constantly flashing through my head as I pack up all my things. I can picture sitting in the car as I head out of my neighborhood, out of my city, out of my province. I can picture the fading summer light, the cooling of the air. I can picture the stars slowly appearing in the sky, I can picture the dark silhouettes of the trees along the highway. Here I am again. Nothing will be the same. But I have to remind myself that in no way is this something negative. The sad look on my fathers face will fade.
I wrote that on August 20th of 2008, just before leaving home to move to the west coast and start school. It is almost surreal to read that again, I had forgotten all about it. I can vividly re-call in my mind that cloudy night sky, the smell of vanilla and sugar pumpkin candles burning beside me, the empty, empty closet. I can vividly re-call the feeling of sitting there, knowing that I was just on the brink of change, the cusp of something new. Everything was about to change, and I was right, everything has. I have been out here for seven months now, but have hardly documented a single day in words. But that is another issue, for another windy night. Thinking of myself back then, sitting on my bed, in my old room... it seems so far away. Like that was a completely different person. And it likely is. So many things have changed, things that I never would have imagined. And they will keep on coming. Yet here I sit, on my new bed, in my new place, with a cloudy night sky outside my window and a vanilla candle burning by my bedside. Isn't it funny how so many things can change, yet stay the same? I have never understood that question before, but now I do.
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29 March 2009 @ 03:42 pm
28 March 2009 @ 11:38 pm
One of my all-time favorite movies was on tonight, The Addams Family. I hadn't seen it in ages! It never fails to put a smile on my face and fill my little heart with joy. I can't even count the number of times I watched this movie as a kid, I loved it so much. Growing up I had always vowed to myself that I would name my daughter Wednesday. I remember talking with my friends about kids names and they would all give me weird looks when I said I wanted to name my kid Wednesday, yes, after Wednesday Addams. (Come to think of it, I would probably still consider it.)